A Skewed Reality: “Manna from Heaven”

My body became heavy after 15 minutes.  A dreariness enveloped me as the sensation became stronger and stronger.  Thoughts race and your mind becomes as simplistic as a goldfish’s yet as elaborate as the depths of the universe.  The light multiplies in brightness as my physical body conditions itself for what is to come. I can feel the coldness as it bites into my soul revealing the true depth of the human spirit.

The organism has been known as Manna from Heaven, given to us by the divine as a way to reveal our true souls and pull the veil from our eyes that has haunted us since our birth.  Is it human nature to suppress the ability of the psyche and trap ourselves in this construct of society?  Can one human tell another it is unjust and criminal to explore the depths of the psyche responsibly?  Is it necessary to be shielded from the bounty of nature?  An organic mechanism of nature, criminal?  Is it the governments responsibility to protect us from ourselves, or is there another motive?

-RW

After an hour, the world of magick appeared in front of me, as if I could reach out and touch it.  The mysticism that is associated with this type of magick is not to be underestimated.  Simply consuming 3 caps of manna is enough to propel anyone to an utmost joyous, frightening, depressing and enlightening experience that will last upwards of 6 hours, as well as teach lessons that will stay with the psychonaut for the rest of their lives.

It is now a little after 11:15 PM on the occasion of my first experience with the manna.  Colors become more vivid than I have ever experienced, the intricate pattern and color of the body of my acoustic guitar comes to life.  The room bends as if it is fluid and organic.  A fly travels across the room.  My partner — a cat who curiously stayed with me for the entirety of the experience (with one exception) — and I watch it curiously as it buzzes around.  She swats at it and I laugh as we continue to watch it.  The music is organic yet has a geometrical feel, as if I could pair the melody with a geometrical shape in my minds eye. “Carbon Cased Lifeforms” was the choice.  The music becomes incredibly intricate and can change ones mindset in an instant when under the influence of the manna.

I now lie on my bed and stair at my ceiling with my companion.  It is white with black stripes running the length of the room spaced about 1 1/2′ apart.  The white stripes are intricately flat yet lightly textured.  The ceiling breathes. I now know the manna has a tight grip on me and will persist until I an shaken to my core being.  Nothing matters except for here and now.  Materialism, consumerism, and other veils created by society melt away as you are rocked and stripped of all but your soul.

I stare at the ceiling for what seems like hours. The need to blink is non-existent (I test this and go several minutes without blinking my eyes — the reflex is gone.)  The panels rotate flip and and squirm.  It continues to breathe almost like the gills of a fish.  The colors change.  The curious part about this experience is being able to create or feel anything your heart desires.  The ceiling turns yellow, but in an instant I think of an open meadow of green grass, and the ceiling responds to my request and changes green, and blades of grass curiously sprout out of the ceiling. Almost immediately my mood changes and I am now looking at a deep red, almost as if it transformed into a lava flow.

My companion and I lay on my bed, my body in complete extacy.  Never have I experienced such a relaxing feeling in my life. I feel light as a cloud when I move. All my aches and aliments are gone.   My mindset from this point has been joyous as I am overwhelmed with new experiences. Vision increases and everyday objects become fascinating.  Music is the gateway to emotion, and hearing is sharpened 10 fold.  A burning cigarette sounds like a crackling and raging fire.

It is at this point that I should note that manna has made me experience emotions that have been suppressed for a very long time.  If you are not willing to let go and release everything, you will learn nothing.  It is about 2 to 3 hours into the experience, and at this point the music had changed to something I find very depressing. I begin to sob.  My companion immediately knows something is wrong as she lies next to me, as if we could communicate through our energy alone.  The emotion is too much to handle as the music continues, I wish to be alone.  I  lock myself in my room, and go into the most depressing state of mind I have ever experienced.  I cry and release it all.

After about 15 minutes of this episode I regain my composure, dry my tears and let my partner back into my room.  I stare at the ceiling again, until I come the the realization that I am becoming frightened.. very frightened.  I soon realize what is wrong.  The music is now very dark industrial and metallic sounding (most likely Aphex Twin.)  I become terrified in a matter of seconds and rush to change the music to something more relaxing and happy.

I play with the cat, and it brings about the feeling of unity and overwhelming happiness and laughter.  The thought of how humans and animals get along and interact with one another.  I elaborate on these feelings and explore them deeply for some time.

It is now 3-4 hours into the experience and I am still in awe of my surroundings.  I lie on my right side and watch my arm against my ridged mattress pad and my white wall.  My arm transforms to brown, then green. My arm and ridges of my mattress pad fill with blood.  I become fascinated. I know it isn’t real blood, and with my mind can make it appear and vanish at will.  I become excited at this new found power, and stare deeply at my arm against the white background of the wall.  The white paint turns dark blue like a night sky, complete with stars.  My arm appears as a desert landscape and I can enter and exit this world at will, at one point convincing myself I was standing in the middle of a desert covered with a starry night sky.

Five hours pass since the experience started, and I am mentally exhausted.  It was easy to fall asleep into the fifth hour, and I woke up the next morning feeling wonderful, but with a clouded memory of a baffling new experiences.  I believe I gained a better understanding of myself and now know there is still much to be explored by the human mind, and perhaps one day I will get to revisit this state of consciousness to again better myself.

The expansion of your mind in ways like this can only be achieved with years of meditation, but with manna can be achieved quickly by anyone and is a valuable tool at discovering that there is no limit to the human psyche, and that if you choose not experience this transformation you are in a sense limiting your own abilities and shielding yourself from your true nature.  I don’t advocate use and believe we all make personal choices in our lives.  I strongly urge each individual do research before experiencing an altered state of consciousness.

Know your source, know your body, know your mind.

A story.